Probably most parents know this, particularly those who have more than one child. Yes, they influence how their kids behave, but it’s a two-way street. Children also affect how parents behave: the “easy” kids usually elicit more model parenting than do more difficult ones.
Traditionally, researchers have focused on the impact of parenting on children rather than the reverse, but in the climate of the renewed debate about the interaction between genetic and environmental factors in child development, there is increasing interest in how children with significant behavior problems affect their parents.
Rebekah Levine Coley of the University of New South Wales in Australia and colleagues in the US have been looking at a typical preoccupation of parenting through the teenage years – substance misuse – to understand how parents influence their children’s use or refusal of drugs and alcohol and how children, in turn, might influence their parents’ parenting response.
They considered information on 3,317 US children collected from early to late adolescence. Their strongest findings suggest that participating in family activities (such as eating meals or attending church together) can prevent substance use among teens.
However, other parenting approaches, keeping track of who your child’s friends are and what school activities they are involved in, did not seem to have much impact.
Furthermore, in this instance there wasn’t very much evidence of the two-way street: parents appeared to affect their children’s behavior, but it remained unclear if and how children affected their parents’ behavior when it came to substance use.
The authors also speculate on why family activities are helpful. They might provide opportunities for parents and adolescents to talk and build stronger relationships. Also the time spent with family might mean less time with peers who might exert a negative influence.
Finally, Coley and her colleagues note that most teens spend less and less time engaged in family activities as they grow older. By contrast, their findings suggest that parents should keep children involved in family meals, outings and so on as long as possible.
• Summary of “Trajectories of Parenting Processes and Adolescent Substance Use: Reciprocal Effects” by Rebekah Levine Coley, Elizabeth Votruba-Drzal, and Holly S. Schindler in Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, Volume 36, Number 4, May, 2008, pp. 613-625.